Sunday, April 19, 2009


Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy...

"The boys are in trouble!" Dacia said. "They are being punished after church!"

YES!! I get to punish the boys! Ok, so what is the punishment?

"They are going to sit on the couch at home after church, quietly and reverently, for one hour!"

That's right! That'll teach 'em!

Wait a minute, that sounds familiar. Didn't I have the same punishment several times as a young hooligan? Hmmm...I'm trying to remember if it worked. I don't think so. If I remember right, it just ended up frustrating Grandma Gray even more until she finally threw up her hands in despair and retreating from the living room muttering to herself in dismay. No wait, yeah, that's right! I was the good one! The only reason I had to receive the punishment was to show Jon and Rob-the actual perpetrators-how to sit quietly, cuz I was so good at it! Yeah, that's how it all went down...

So what was the behavior that caused Dacia's frustration?

January 7, 1997- Dacia meets a loud-mouthed RM in her Music Theory 101 class...

December 20, 1997- Dacia marries said loud-mouthed RM...

2001-2007- Dacia then decides to have 3 boys (don't forget the one on the way! just guessing as to its gender)...

Fast forward until this morning....

Dacia gets out of bed early to ready herself for church. Showers, shaves. all the rest.

8am-Dacia wakes up the boys and gets them breakfast. Eats a bowl of cereal herself. Jason is asleep.

8:30-Dacia blowdries her hair. She sets Jonah and Jonathan up with instructions to get dressed.

8:45-Dacia finishes her hair, then yells at Jonah and Jonathan to hurry up and get dressed. She hunts around for clothes for Spencer.

8:55-Jonah and Jonathan have turned on the computer to play video games. Dacia finally finds the outfit she wants to dress Spencer in.

9:10-Dacia yells at Jonah and Jonathan, who are playing computer games. In their pjs. They all begin a hunt for their church clothes.

9:20-Dacia finds the last of their clothes; ties and belts. She then starts to apply her makeup.

9:35-Dacia starts to look for Spencer's socks and shoes. She finds Spencer out on the deck. He has learned how to unlock and open the sliding glass door.

9:47-Dacia has finished combing all 3 boys' hair. Jason wakes up and gets out of bed to shower.

9:58-The whole family loads into car to go to church.

10:00-Family piles out of the car. We arrive just in time for choir rehearsal, which Dacia conducts. Jason tries to hide his yawns.

11:05-Sacrament meeting starts.

11:11-Opening Hymn and Prayer are done; Spencer is thrashing about and arching his back, screraming, trying to free himself from Dacia's arms. Books, toys, and crayons have failed to calm him. Dacia's white blouse has been colored blue in places.

11:25-Ward business is finishing and Sacrament Hymn begins.

11:26-Jason takes Spencer out of the chapel.

11:40-Sacrament is over, Dacia leaves Jonah and Jonathan in chapel to switch with Jason taking care of Spencer.

11:45-Dacia returns to chapel grumbling to herself, not having found Jason or Spencer. She sits down to find only Jonathan is remaining, and he is looking around planning his escape. "Jonah had to go to the bathroom. Can I go?"

11:55-Jonah has returned, with Jonathan, from the bathroom. Jonathan starts climbing over and under and around the bench. Jonah starts giggling, and snapping his fingers in the ears of the children of the Morgan family sitting in front of them. Dacia is trying to silence Jonah and Jonathan.

12:05-Jonathan is laying on his back under the bench. Jonah is alternating snapping his fingers in the Morgan's ears, and tickling Jonathan underneath him, giggling all the while. They are ignoring Dacia altogether. She is grumbling to herself wondering if Jason has gone back home with Spencer. Jonah asks Dacia, "How many more minutes 'til the meeting is over?"

12:15-Final speaker finishes her address: Jonah starts clapping, excited that the meeting is almost over. Dacia is mortified about the clapping, informs Jonah they are going to be punished after church. Jonah asks with wide eyes the nature of the impending punishment. Dacia tells him (see first lines of post) and Jonah starts crying, turns and repeats to Jonathan, whose lips start to quiver and says, "Oh no!" in a small voice.

12:18-One verse of closing hymn and prayer are over. Jonah and Jonathan-punishment forgotten-are off like shots to their primary classes.

12:25-Jason wanders back into the chapel after having dropped Spencer off at nursery. He flops onto the bench next to Dacia (who has her head buried in her arms, leaning on the back of the bench in front of her) and he says, "I'm exhausted! I had to chase Spencer in and out and around the chapel during the whole thing! I didn't get a thing out of that meeting."


Rob said...

Ahh, sacrament meeting; the most important meeting on Sunday yet sometimes the spirit is just not quite there. PA and Betty were complaining one day about this little family that just let their kids go crazy in Sacrament...running around and making a ruckus. Betty was saying that they were going to change the place where they were sitting just so that they would not be disturbed by those kids. They also mentioned that why can't those families with kids just sit in the back if they cannot control their kids. Well, ya know what I say to that, give me a break. Kids can be so frustrating sometimes in sacrament meeting but I am still glad I have them. Let those other people have their issues, we can bring our kids to church and one day we too will feel the spirit of the meeting. :) We love you!

Jon said...

I mean...where's the reverence? Come on, people!

Was I really the instigator? That sounds a bit fishy to me.